05h50 ngày 28 tháng 4 năm 1984 trung đoàn 118 thuộc sư đoàn 40, quân đoàn 14 trực thuộc quân khu Côn Minh có pháo binh yểm trợ tấn chiếm cao điểm Núi Đất 1509, TC gọi là Lão Sơn, cùng lúc với các cao điểm khác.Hình trích từ mạng Quốc Phòng-Trung Quốc

Xin tạm dịch ý của bài tiếng Hoa:

Ở cứ điểm 124, chúng tôi tìm thấy 4 nữa cán binh trốn trong hang đá. Chúng tôi kêu nhưng họ không ra, chúng tôi không vào bên trong để kéo họ ra, nên quyết định dùng súng phun lửa để giết họ. Tất cả bị đốt cháy như một trái banh lửa!

Một điều đặc biệt ở đây chúng ta cần phải chú ý là sự bỏ ngỏ ngọn núi 1509 sau khi bộ đội CSVN đã chiếm lại được 1509. Câu hỏi đặt ra là lý do gì sau khi đã hy sinh 3,700 binh lính, cộng sản VN lại bỏ chốt ngọn 1509 - mà Trung Cộng gọi là núi Lão Sơn? Phải chăng đã có sự thương lượng ngay sau trận chiến để trao Núi Đất 1509 cho Trung Cộng mà sau này Trung Cộng gọi là núi Lão Sơn? Cán binh cộng sản VN nghĩ thế nào khi tính mạng của họ đã bị bán đứng bằng những thương lượng chính trị giữa Trung Cộng và đảng CSVN? Câu hỏi kế tiếp là tại sao nhà cầm quyền CSVN đã dấu nhẹm việc này mãi cho đến đến ngày hôm nay nếu không có sự việc tiết lộ từ phía Trung Cộng qua tác phẩm Dữ Kiện Bí Mật Của Chiến Tranh Trung-Việt (Secret Records of Sino-Vietnamese War) của ba tác giả Jin Hui, Zhang Hui Sheng and Zhang Wei Ming vừa mới được chuyễn ngữ qua tiếng Anh. Chính qua tác phẩm này trận chiến xãy ra tại "Núi Đất" mới được tiết lộ cho thế giới biết.

Chúng tôi xin trích một đoạn bài viết dựa theo lời kể của một trung đoàn trưởng pháo binh Trung Cộng đã tham dự trận đánh chiếm Núi Đất (Lão Sơn) năm 1984 từ cuốn sách nói trên, do Trần Trung Đạo dịch. Mặc dù nhiều đoạn không che dấu được tính khoát loát, cường điệu cố hữu, những dữ kiện do viên trung đoàn trưởng cung cấp, cũng chứng tỏ rằng Trung Cộng vẫn không từ bỏ giấc mộng thiên triều xâm lược bắt nguồn từ chính sách bá quyền truyền thống của họ. Đồng thời, những lời kể cũng nói lên sự bất lực của giới lãnh đạo cộng sản Việt Nam chỉ biết cúi đầu thần phục, chỉ biết hối lộ tham nhũng, sống xa hoa trên sự nghèo đói của nhân dân và không biết nhục khi nhìn đất nước từng mảnh đang rơi vào tay Trung Cộng.

"Bài tường thuật do môt Trung Đoàn Trưởng Pháo Binh Quân Đội Nhân Dân Trung Quốc trong cuộc chiến Trung-Việt lần thứ hai. Tôi không biết chắc chắc mức độ chính xác của bản tường thuật nhưng khá gần với những gì tôi đã được đọc về chiến tranh Trung-Việt lần thứ hai. Bài tường thuật có nhiều dữ kiện rất chi tiết.

Lưu ý: Núi Lão Sơn, cao 1422 mét trên mặt biển. Lão Sơn có nghĩa là “Núi Già” theo tiếng Tàu. Lão Sơn nằm bên trong lãnh thổ Việt Nam gần biên giới Trung Quốc. Sau cuộc chiến 1979, Việt Nam đã xử dụng đỉnh Lão Sơn như một trạm xuất phát, nơi các lực lượng Việt Nam điều hợp các cuộc lục soát lớn vào Trung Cộng.

Đầu năm 1984, trung đoàn của chúng nhận lịnh phải chiếm mủi Lão Sơn. Ngày 18 tháng 2 chúng tôi tiến đến Ei-Liang, và ngày 20 đến đồi Ma-Sho. Sau 40 ngày chuẩn bị, ngày 1 tháng Tư, 3 đại đội gia nhập “Đề án 142”. Họ bắn vài loạt đạn về phía Việt Nam và rút ngay, để buộc phía Việt Nam trả đủa, và qua đó, để lộ vị trí.

Chúng tôi dùng đại pháo để áp đảo địch. Ngày 26 tháng Tư, mọi việc đã được chuẩn bị sẵn sàng và Lực Lượng Đặc Nhiệm Pháo Binh 119 được thành lập.

Để chiếm một căn cứ hỏa lực, chúng tôi tiến quân vào ban đêm. Không ai được phép gây tiếng động. Chúng tôi tháo gỡ các bộ phận súng 85 ly và chỉ lắp ráp lại sau khi đến căn cứ. Tầm hỏa lực chỉ cách địch quân 500 mét. Để thấy đường đi, chúng tôi dùng các tấm vải trải giường trắng. Chúng tôi bố trí súng đọc phía bên phải của một căn nhà hoang. Trung đội 4 thám thính tiến quá sát với địch quân, chỉ cách địch 400 mét và trong tầm bắn thẳng.

Ngày 28 tháng 4, lúc 5 giờ 50 sáng, pháo binh bắt đầu khai hỏa. Sau 34 phút pháo kích, mặt đất như bắt đầu rung chuyển. Lúc 6 giờ 24 phút sáng, khi trận pháo kích vừa ngưng, bộ binh mở cuộc tấn công. Quân đội Việt Nam phản ứng trong vòng 2 phút. Và ngay trong những viên đạn đầu tiên họ đã bắn hạ một trung đội trưởng của chúng tôi. Anh ta là đồng chí đầu tiên hy sinh tại Lão Sơn. Chúng tôi bắn yểm trợ cho bộ binh. Bộ binh tiếng bằng cách nhảy từ miệng hố đạn này sang hố đạn khác. Sau 9 phút, chúng tôi chiếm được điểm cao 662.6, và 54 phút sau, núi Lão Sơn hoàn toàn lọt vào tay chúng tôi. Đến 3 giờ 30 chiều, khoảng 20 điểm cao phía đông điểm cao 662.6 cũng lọt vào tay chúng tôi. Chúng tôi cũng triệt hạ một xe tăng địch bằng 5 phát pháo trực xạ.

Who do we fear!  Military compound feelings: Vietnamese bloody battle?? Who do we fear! Some how many people knew 1984 the special meaning, also did not have how many people to be able to fondly remember that once blood boiling the year; Remembered they which it only has is living we and died, remembered it only in the rimmed boundary line that still like blood red soil/limitless jungle/overlaps the repeatedly mine field. "1,984" in mine heart forever is an exclamation mark, it saves to my heart deep place, took my life a part lives along with me extinguishes. That year I only have 17 years old, just enlisted in the military or a recruit, at that time south our country the frontier situation was quite intense, in the enlistment occasion talk overed surely has clipped on the southern region the army. This southern region army is has not gone, but I go the army is level of field forces, belongs to a kind of army, went to war nature few we. The army is one Spring Festival on has opened toward the front, looks at the terrain to the there, does the pre-combat training; Also was I first time had known in the war zone we had to regain mountain system: Laoshan.

Laoshan, the elevation 1,422 meters, are on China and the A border demarcation line ordinary ride the line spot. War zone multi- fog, front person's speech, as soon as arrives the war zone is enters 雾区. Similarly, the first penetration dawn looks out into the distance when Laoshan also is a foggy day, in the high time of telescope saw is only a Shan Ti outline, its depth in confused white fog if hides if falls suddenly like a deep place intercalary Chinese style pavilion to shame Yu Jianren the beautiful young girl; But we on in this "beautiful young girl" on the body launches rips kills, that one 门门 is soaring the stature if not for 近前 the artillery position the cannon, I really am not willing to want to believe at present this peaceful auspicious mountain top am our destiny execution ground. The time always passes very quickly, the short pre-combat training ended. In April, 1984 26, army all entered the pre-combat condition, that very evening starts from the south warm river/to be fierce 硐 carries on mobile to Laoshan, 27 daytime armies hid rest, at night continued to go forward. Our army toward the Laoshan mobile direction many is the mountain jungle, is very difficult to distinguish clearly the path, difficult to walk has died, the army on * is referring to the back needle map to go all out to proceed to catch up with, very many people simply on are rolling the advance, like this we or a scheduled time have been later than nearly half hour. 28 5.56 minute, the signal flare raised, red, was really attractive! / Handed over places such as foot city from the fierce 硐/Japanese banana level ground, our army's artilleries spoke, the half the sky has been all red, each kind of artillery great sound collected gas: The cannon artillery/pomegranate artillery/mortar/rocket launcher/high explosive shell artillery, each kind of shell goes against from our head all flies toward Laoshan, but also has the high machine tracer shell, hands over * the firepower to tow catches fire the tail to delimit each kind of radian and the line. The army alternated for two evenings, the brothers has all been exhausted, but a cannon sound, was taking a look by firepower cover Laoshan, everybody has come the mood: Everybody understood the attack had to start immediately, again crossed a while to want the corpse horizontal Laoshan blood to sprinkle the battlefield, on people's face was engraving all excited and is excited; In my heart only is randomly also does not have how many lofty sentiments and aspirations, the huge explosive sound let in my heart have a nonchalant variation, was really annoyed! However said I was afraid! My subconsciousness hugged has tightened the bosom submachine gun. Is borrowing the detonation flash, I everywhere look I the allies, extremely diligently have stared at each person, I must all engrave in the heart them, perhaps this was last
 

The fire 急袭 has hit three, after the bombardment, 6.30 minute, I forever remember always this day: On April 28, 1984 before dawn six o'clock 30 minute. The signal flare has gotten up, this is the infantry charges the signal. This we, storm, toward overshooting. This clear fight suddenly approaches, has sent to me also without enough time makes the ponder, goes to war completely does not look like in the movie to put such, does not have that many brave words the artificiality, does not have the bugle call to kill the sound; The packed hole sells the smoke and the raging fire, Man Er sound of gunfire explosive sound, the people all lower the head a vigor toward overshooting, nobody hesitation nobody speaks, the cadre in front, the soldier closely follows in behind. Front suddenly transmits a piece crack, to nearly extremely, that was the military engineer is using the rocket mine clearance to lead the way, without enough time chopped with the knife, with body rolling mine. Above Laoshan not only land mine, but also has spreads the toxicant bamboo to sign the steel nail; In the top of the head enemy's firepower to rains resembles downward irrigates, unceasingly some people drop down; Dropped down has dropped down, nobody thought, has not realized simply this is the sacrifice, this was the clear death; The fire sparkling red soil also was reflecting was dripping a place blood, my line of sight started fuzzily, packed hole red, which couldn't distinguish clearly is the earth which is the sky, the war proved I was frail, had no intention between I to cry, this tear as soon as came out but actually lets me suddenly as if return to the world from the dreamland, all have been all normal, originally was a moment ago ally's blood which is hit by the shell splashes to the face on sticks the eye. Our Lian Gong is slightly does not have the famous high ground, allied force fifth Lian Da is a prominent peak. The attack fights as soon as starts to hit is extremely intense, a our spot spot attacking, on a road the majority all is a minefield, many soldiers lay down in that, afterwards heard the military engineer brother attacked the route along us upward to remove mines, has extracted quite several hundred, some thunder simply were let us step on rewinding to come out; The army overran to has not slightly had under the famous battle position, the casualties very have already been big, organized several charges including in all not to go well, various class of row nearly all did not have the soldier, the light we the class personnel losses reached 2/3, we 力压 cannot all be lifted by enemy's fire under the ridge, enemy's position too has hidden, everywhere all was their firebase, all could have/two even more guns as necessary to fire to you, if not for this ridge, natural was we has constructed the foothold which some depends on hides, otherwise, The most outstanding soldier also unavoidably can in this stab in the back four volts hells by heartless 射杀. In my heart despaired, perhaps I could die, here could be my deathtrap? I do not dare the allies which looks at my side, as soon as gains ground as if can let them completely understand I timidly resemble. The situation too has been disadvantageous to us, the cadre were discussing asks the higher authority to send the reserve forces to reenforce, this time eight Leader Liu Weiguang requests to attack a time again, he already was acts platoon leader; I bend down in his side, his sound is not certainly loud, but actually has covered the sound of gunfire and the explosive sound clearly spreads to my ear, I have blushed, burns is such burning, the flash I feels feels too ashamed to be in public, right! I also am meters seven several big, also is the man which is indomitable spirit, but I, but I actually only can look like the timid rabbit to resemble lie prone want to die on the place want to live! "I also participate!" Because was excited I fiercely to stand, company commander a foot trampled me but actually: The hail of bullets on the position which stood a moment ago me has covered in an instant, really hung! ! ! Had agreed including in my request, I and several participate in the commando unit the allies intensely to inspect the equipment, eight class leaders lie prone on the ridge are observing the terrain with total concentration: Our several everywhere pull the bolt, the number is beginning the high explosive shell, nobody speech, other allies silently are gazing at us are peaceful. My mood has come, must charge immediately, perhaps again crossed several minutes me to be able to die, really wanted to say any, or for was living people stationary point any, but in my this heart actually deserted could not mention a speech; I had thought mother had also thought the daddy, has thought of in the seashore that beautiful xiaocheng family; Dear parents! The son participated in the commando unit, must go all out with the enemy, the son front not well has listened to your speech, forgave me. Now the son to results in you, walks time is not has said: I certainly render meritorious service!
 Suddenly the sound of gunfire writings, the anger 射向 enemy position which saves including in each kind of firearm, a row of platoon hand grenade delimits an arc to pound to the enemy position, raises the mist and dust the cloth gets up together the smoke screen in front of enemy's position. Has not waited for me 回过神来, eight class leaders raised the arm as soon as wield leap the ridge, our several also followed close on is leaping the ridge which depends on hides; Looked like several to be startled the gun wild animal 嘶喊 to flush away to front. In my hand gun one * has not stopped the strafe, the gun sound was liking has exploded the chest cavity, heard the hand grenade explosive sound also was that makes a sound, shakes the body to lose the balance, I clearly felt my heart also rocked; Is 连部 Report young Zhu follows in mine side to face on waves the arms about the high explosive shell! Only was flings near compared to, perhaps was he has been wounded, I busily took into consideration, fight intensely let the person not gasp for breath. Slight but causes the will of the people startled sound to pass through the sound of gunfire to conduct, was young Zhu has dropped down, a row of high machine bullet horizontal was sweeping him but actually, the creamy blood dyed the red his military uniform. I no longer aim, only faces in the thick smoke suddenly to hide suddenly the present form again and again to strafe, this rapid close sound of gunfire changes is like this weak, the like this sadness, the sound likely was is passed on has resembled, passed on is very far, if the wind fluttered however goes. The distant place, does not attack Chief Liu Weiguang the fish to leap the upward movement, the muzzle is glittering is flaminging the person the flame, that is his heart is spurting the roaring flame. Eight class leaders are the military region martial arts contest highest quality people, his tactical movement forever is that simply agile, the flash he sneaked in front of in the enemy position smoke screen; Has the gate, my heart bang bang jumps perhaps formidable, eight class leaders can succeed. In the very quick enemy's position has transmitted the hand grenade short low and deep explosive sound, in the entire battlefield enemy troop that crowded sad heavy weapon changed all of a sudden quietly. My eye moist, last the minute charge proved we must brave/be firm and resolute than the match. Indistinct center, a Red Flag like group fire suddenly flapping to high ground sky; I after death resounded a piece to kill the sound, company commander flush, the allies flushed. I and the commando unit are left over several brothers three steps of and two step of places fled the high ground, enemy's corpse lying this way and that scattered in the position, everywhere was the firearms ammunition which they abandoned. My toing be sharp-eyed, saw * in trench eight class leaders, in my heart also is wild with joy, goes crazy resembles was shouting he throws oneself to him, I closely want to hug him, he am the genuine hero. Why can, why our hero actually link a response all not to have, didn't he know the position is already seized down by ours! One kind of unlucky premonition closely band has lived my heart, soon is grasping his time I paused, two eight class of soldiers cry to shout already grasped him, but his stature was such soft and weak, his head gently crookedly in the one side, I finally looked clearly: Enemy's bullet hit his pharynx and larynx, the blood was gushing out from the there, his eye still circle was opening the eyes, did not have the god to look the mountain peak, looked still is selling the sky which the smoke filled the air, he has sacrificed, such a word has not remained walked, but this pair of eye actually still was relating, still was summoning, still was declaring he to fresh incomparably yearned for with the hope. I want to cry, but I cannot cry, the teardrops hit several extensions in the eye socket or to flow in the belly. We won! We are the hero which deserves. That many ally's blood sprinkled on this ancient land, they use from already life and blood for from already the division has expressed in writing the entire historical glory; Because they paid cause the survival we also to contaminate the glory, and is written down together the republic as well as the people's army annals, this was is immortal.
 Links while us which fights a bloody battle, other brothers army's fortification fight also same persistent and hard-working is carrying on: Fifth Lian Da is the Laoshan prominent peak position, they from started to attack to seize the prominent peak surface position only to use about for two hours, the weaponry also hit is exceptionally difficult, the enemy troop depended on the precipitous topography tenacious resistance, this caused five casualties to be continually huge; Quickly publicized to noon time five continually deputy company commanders also has only sacrificed, his intestines all called to split out, but also in that persisted directed until sacrifices. Brothers roll the army that day hits is the Laoshan 松毛 range area, the main attack 662. 6 high ground, their prewar preparation very full, the step of artillery coordination is also good, attacks a start, nine minutes took 662. 6 superficial positions. After that all is capturing 松毛 range that stretch of several dozens positions; That day, they also have caught several captives, all is grasps in a hole. In 124 positions, they have also stopped up four enlisted women in a hole, these enlisted women hard work is does not come out, our person also cannot flush, finally has not folded, uses the flamethrower fiercely to do, all fired the ball; In enemy's position what all has, their spoils of war have been that day most, but also has given big pile of then western-style clothes. 4. 28 is the Laoshan newborn day, we used the life and the blood have guarded the motherland dignity and the territory integrity. Negative left heavy price for this us, that one day, a our team casualties proportion has surpassed 1/3, some regiments also must be bigger than this proportion, casualties all nearly one half. I am the life big, in the soldier which enlisted with an my year majority of all not in, but I not only lived have gotten down moreover also live very 全乎, the lucky god looked like really very much looked after me. That many ally has sacrificed, all does not dare to think again, but how also can'tforget, as soon as closes one's eyes always appears their form, in the head likely shows the slide show to resemble does not stop the allies voice and face smiling face, a quarter does not stop. They now all are lying down in the Malipo martyrs' cemetery, inside that has quite partially all is our teacher. Regains Laoshan is only the entire war start, receives several months defenses combat is we most brutal experience, it gave my body and mind all to leave behind the scar which obliterated with difficulty. In that more than 100 non- dormancy day and night in, our life highly enriched enters in the insufficient ten square cat's ears shelter, this is true practices the prison. How justice regardless of the war goal is, but speaking of its itself essence forever all is brutal and dark, recollects Yu Meige entering a war to say the pain all to be always joyful, must open these depth to plant to the innermost feelings painful memory needs the courage. The war also is continuing, nobody can think this by regains Laoshan for the war which begins to be able to continue the entire five years. Compares the defense combat that past Laoshan fortification fight which follows closely comes simply to be unworthy as soon as raises; The war carries on which in this subtropical forest is the Chinese serviceman ever does not increase has experienced, the fight rubber nature and the brutality reveals the characteristic which it is in sole possession of. Laoshan does not have the story, should say the Laoshan not romantic story, some only has the persistent and hard-working and the rank smell of blood.

军营感想：越南血战——我们怕谁！ 有多少人知道一九八四年的特殊含意，也没有多少人会怀念那个曾经令人热血沸腾的岁月；记得它的只有活着的我们和死去的他们，记得它的只有边境线上那依然如血的红土/无边无际的丛林/重叠反复的雷区。“一九八四”在我的心里永远是一个惊叹号，它存乎于我心深处，将作为我生命的一部分随我生灭。
那年我只有十七岁，刚参军还是个新兵，当时我国南部边境的局势相当紧张，参军时家里就念叨过千万别上南边的部队。这南边的部队是没去成，可我去的部队是一级野战部队，属于一类部队，打仗自然少不了我们。部队是一过完春节就往前线开，到那儿看地形，搞临战训练；也是在战区我第一次认识了我们所要收复的山系：老山。

　 老山，海拔1422米，是中国与A国边界线上一个普通的骑线点。战区多雾，前线人的话，一到战区就是进入雾区。同样，第一次透过晨曦远眺老山时也是一个雾天，高倍望远镜里看到的只是一座山体的轮廓，它深陷在迷茫的白雾里若隐若陷恍如一位深座闰阁羞于见人的美少女；而我们就将在这“美少女”的身上展开撕杀，若不是近前炮阵地那一门门高昂起身躯的大炮，我真不愿想信眼前这座安静祥和的山头就是我们命定的杀场。

时间过得总是很快，短暂的临战训练结束了。一九八四年四月二十六号，部队一切进入临战状态，当晚开始从南温河/猛硐向老山进行机动，二十七号白天部队就地隐蔽休息，夜间继续前进。我军往老山机动的方向多是高山密林，很难分清道路，难走死了，部队就*着指背针地图拼命往前赶，很多人干脆就是滚着前进的，就这样我们还是比预定时间晚了将近半小时。二十八号五点五十六分，信号弹升起来了，红色的，真漂亮！从猛硐/芭蕉坪/交趾城等地，我军的炮兵发言了，半边天都红了，各种火炮的巨响汇成了一气：加农炮/榴炮/迫击炮/火箭炮/加榴炮，各种炮弹从我们脑袋顶上都往老山飞，还有高机曳光弹，交*火力拖着火尾巴划着各种弧度和线条。部队穿插了两个晚上，弟兄们都累坏了，可大炮一响，瞅着被火力覆盖的老山，大家都来了情绪：谁都明白进攻马上就要开始了，再过一会儿就要尸横老山血洒疆场了，人们的脸上无不刻着激动与兴奋；我的心里只是乱也没有多少豪情壮志，巨大的爆炸声让我的心里产生了一丝不经意的变异，真恼火！然道我害怕了吗！我下意识的抱紧了怀里的冲锋枪。借着爆炸的闪光，我一遍遍地看着我的战友们，非常努力地凝视过每一个人，我要在心里把他们都刻上，也许这就是最后一眼了。

炮火急袭打了三次，炮击之后，六点三十分，我得永远铭记这个日子：一九八四年四月二十八日凌晨六时三十分。信号弹又起来了，这是步兵冲锋信号。该我们了，强攻，往上冲。这真切的战斗突然地来临，已致于我还来不及多做思考，打仗完全不象电影里放得那样，没有那么多豪言壮语的做作，更没有号声杀声；满眼的销烟和烈火，满耳的枪声爆炸声，人们都低着头一个劲的往上冲，没有人犹豫更没有人说话，干部在前，士兵紧紧地跟在后边。前边猛然传来一片炸响，离得近极了，那是工兵在用火箭扫雷开路，来不及的用刀砍，用身子滚雷。老山上边不光地雷，还有涂着毒药的竹签钢钉；头顶上敌人的火力向下雨似地往下浇，不断有人倒下；倒下的就倒下了，谁也没有多想，根本没有意识这就是牺牲，这就是真切的死亡；火光映着红土地也反射着淌了一地的鲜血，我的视线开始模糊，满眼的红色，分不清哪是大地哪是天空，战争证明我是脆弱的，无意间我哭了，这眼泪一出来倒让我突然间仿佛从梦境中回到了人间，一切又都正常了，原来刚才是被炮弹击中的战友的鲜血溅到脸上糊住了眼睛。我们连攻的是小无名高地，友军五连打的是主峰。进攻战一开始就打的非常激烈，我们一个点一个点的攻，一路上过的大部分都是雷场，好些兵就躺在那了，后来听说工兵弟兄沿我们进攻路线往上排雷，起出了好几百颗，有些雷干脆就是让我们踩倒带出来的；部队攻到了小无名主阵地下，伤亡已经很大了，连里组织了几次冲锋都没得手，各班排几乎都没兵了，光我们班减员就达三分之二，我们被敌人的火力压在土坎下头都抬不起来，敌人的阵地太隐蔽了，到处都是他们的火力点，随时都会有一把/二把甚至更多的枪向你射击，若不是这道土坎，天然的为我们构筑了一些赖以藏身的据点，不然，最优秀的士兵也难免会在这暗箭四伏的地狱里被无情的射杀。我的心里绝望极了，也许我会死去的，这里会是我的死地吗？我不敢看我身边的战友们，仿佛一抬头就会让他们看透我的怯懦似的。局势对我们太不利了，干部们商量着请上级派预备队增援，这时候八班长刘伟光要求再攻一次，他已经是代理排长了；我就伏在他的身边，他的声音并不响，但却盖过了枪声和爆炸声清晰地传入我的耳朵，我的脸红了，烧得是那样的烫，一瞬间我感到无地自容，是吗！我也是一米七几的大个，也是个顶天立地的汉子，而我，而我却只会象胆小的兔子似得趴在地上想死想活！“我也参加！”由于激动我猛地站了起来，连长一脚就把我踹倒了：刹那间弹雨就把我刚才站的位置盖住了，真悬！！！连里同意了我的请求，我和几个参加突击队的战友紧张地检查着装备，八班长则趴在土坎上聚精会神地观察着地形：我们几个一遍遍地拉着枪栓，数着手榴弹，没有人讲话，其他战友们默默地注视着我们更是安静。我的情绪又来了，马上就要冲锋了，也许再过几分钟我就会死去，真想说点什么，或者给活着的人们留点什么，可我这心里却空落落的讲不出一句话来；我想到了妈妈也想到了爸爸，想到了海边那个美丽小城里的家；亲爱的父母啊！儿子参加了突击队，要和敌人拼命了，儿子已前没有好好的听你们的话，原谅我呀。现在儿子对得起你们，走的时候不是说过吗：我一定立功！